Today marks the 5th year you journeyed back to your true essence, the Soul. I remember that day so clearly, I remember the moment I was informed that you had left this plane. What you have helped me learn and truly understand in the past five years is nothing short of amazing. I thank you.
As I recall the past five years, I remember one of the first true messages resulting from your crossing was ...Life is to be celebrated, so celebrate life. Focus on Life. Focus on the Love. Focus simply means how and what I consciously choose to give my energy i.e. my attention. As I recall these messages today, I know that it is who I decides where I focus my thoughts and my mind. Because of you, I choose to focus on the love that surrounds me, that love is eternal, and I know how truly blessed I Am.
I remember the first day you left this plane, you whispered in my ear, "..Mom, I Am fine, I Am fine, I Am fine!" I knew you were and I knew were out of pain. You told me that day, "I will never leave your side", and I can say, I've always felt you there, gently behind me. This has always been such a huge part of healing my misunderstandings of what I was taught to understand about death. You have helped me to redefine what I believe about death. It never seizes to amaze me how people who can see past the human eye, past the veil to the other side have told me there is a beautiful being by your side. Some have described you as an playful Angel, others as a very proud young man. I always smile and say, yes that is my son. I always feel you protecting and guiding me, and I am so thankful.
Another memory I constantly share with others is that morning I was just waking up and my mind wandered back to the moment I received that call. I clearly heard you saying "Mom, Mom, why are you retraumatizing yourself again and again? You can't change it!" You showed me a car and indicated face forward, and to stop driving my car (my life) forward while looking back. That was a major point grace. It was a paradigm shift, helping me understand that every time I allowed my mind to go back to that day, the only result I would experience is the same trauma, the same sadness. I learned what's done is done and no amount of looking back could change it. I began to understand why there is so much power and true grace in acceptance. I learned more that day that while even though your body had passed, you and your soul were very near me.
Another incredibly memory and experience you gifted to me was during that relaxation session, when we danced as souls. That was one of the most amazing experiences. It was beyond words to describe. I saw us as strands of colorful light. I felt and sensed you as the energy you truly are... this energy being big and bright and full of life. It was a mind changing, life changing experience. I've never witnessed something so incredibly beautiful. It was an undeniable message to understand, we really don't die. It was you once again showing me, mom, only my body is gone, I Am forever, and forever I Am in your heart.
I love how creative you are with giving me signs. Sometimes you really make me laugh. Mother's Day was especially a surprise, so warming and affirming that love never dies, just the body. So reassuring of your peace. I was not expecting that experience, but over these past five years, you've helped me to widen my view about how I see life and understand death. This wider view has gifted me with understanding and seeing the subtly of life. The messages between the lines that might have gotten missed had my mind been drowned in the idea of sorrow and pain. The undeniable understanding through all my learning, that life continues forever and always. A warming, reassurance how you continue, and simply by changing my point of understanding, unlocks a world of Grace.
Your passing on, going forward with your soul's mission has truly imprinted in my heart, my soul, a very deep understanding of love. Love never ever dies. Love is eternal. You've made it clear how we as bodies are energy. Energy cannot be destroyed, just transformed. There has never been an idea of pain for you or suffering. Simply that you now continue in love, peace, grace and bliss.
While sometimes I can miss your human body, you then gently remind me by making me laugh saying "Really mom? You know I am not that body, that was just my soul's vehicle for my past travel plans." Ironically, I am able to connect this idea to how very soon on in this journey you showed me a car. You show me the idea that we may own several cars within our lifetimes making a subtle connection to the idea of the body to the soul.
Sometimes I will tell people, there are wounds of the heart which we can heal over time. Your death is like a scar on the soul. I can't change this scar, but I've learned a different way to live with it. I've learned to be so grateful for every single experience, every moment, every exchange I have with others. I've learned how my thoughts and beliefs truly create my experiences. I've learned that what I think to be true about what we call death here on this plane will be the direct experience I have each day as a result of those beliefs, oddly not the fact. I've learned that life is so much more than what I can even imagine, and that it is by staying open to love, helps me experience so much more love than I could have ever imagined.
Thank you Brendon, for your heart of love. Thank you for remaining forever by my side. Thank you for the lessons of this lifetime, knowing you chose me as a mom, to teach and guide my soul into a deeper, and greater understanding of love.
The Ho Opono Pono Prayer Remains the same from the day we used this as your rememberance card, to today
I Love You
Please forgive me
I Am Sorry
And I Thank You
Thank you Brendon, today and always.
Om Shanti - I the Soul Am Peaceful